Few times in a relationship are more frustrating than when one person is eager to make things formal and the other is sending confusing signals. How do you strike a balance between keeping your cool and determining whether you have a future together?
If you wonder how to ask a guy his intentions without scaring him, keep reading the article. We have a bunch of advice for you.
Ask In The First Place
Directness has no stigma, and it’s definitely the quickest method to obtain a response. When you ask a guy where he sees the relationship going, you also demonstrate that you are not a pushover. You are advocating for yourself rather than waiting for him to decide.
Therefore you should directly ask the other person without creating any awkward situation in the near future.
Don’t Set Qualifications
Qualification is an easy trap to fall into because we all want to be adored (especially by the person we’re attracted to), and we don’t want to put people under pressure. However, inquiring about a man’s intentions is not a difficult task.
You have the right to know where he sees things going, and you don’t have to say things like “I hate to ask this” or “It’s okay if you’re not ready to talk about this.” Don’t put yourself down. It’s an important and sensible question.
Don’t Wait Too Long
The more you wait, the more uncomfortable it will become. You don’t want to find out six months into a relationship that you and your partner have completely opposite ideas about where you’re going.
The sooner you ask, the less awkward the conversation will be, and the more likely you will discuss your future plans if anything changes. Create an expectation of openness from the start, and your relationship will run much more smoothly in the future.
Share Your Intentions
If you want more openness, why not start by being transparent yourself? After all, it’ll be simpler for him to be open and vulnerable if you’re open and vulnerable. This kind of openness really helps as this has been very effective on couples that are already married.
Tell him how you feel about the relationship and where you see it going. Then wait to see how he reacts. That is a direct answer in and of itself if he continues to be evasive and non-committal.
Avoid Beating about the Bush
Years of your life could be wasted attempting to gain a direct answer to an oblique inquiry. “Do you desire children?” or “When do you see yourself getting married?” are likely to elicit unsatisfactory responses.
Because while you may be interested in his answers to such inquiries, you truly want to know how he feels about your relationship. General inquiries about marriage and children may result in unspoken mind games and misunderstandings, and a lot of wasted time.
Asking About Priorities
When you ask this question of your lover, a few responses will reveal what he is seeking. If he claims his car or his career is his first priority, there’s a high likelihood he’s not looking for a long-term relationship.
The best answer is that your relationship is his top priority. This response indicates that you will marry in the near future. It’s also a positive sign if he tells you that his friends and family are his top priority.
This is an excellent subject to ask because he won’t suspect you’re looking for information about marriage and your future together.
Checking Common Friends’ Relationship Status
This is a question you should ask yourself if you know all of your boyfriend’s buddies. This is a question you should ask him if you know a handful of his buddies but have never met his coworkers or the guys on his softball team. It will give you some insight into what he is searching for.
According to studies, guys who associate with other unmarried men are less likely to settle down and marry. Men who hang out with married men are more likely to become married themselves.
If most of your boyfriend’s friends are married, he will not want to be the sole bachelor in the group for long, which suggests he will begin to consider marriage.
Your partner will not want to be the lone guy in a relationship if most of his friends are single and live a single life. The answer to this question can depict your future.
Long Term Commitment
This is a less nuanced method of determining what your lover wants. You can keep him from figuring out what you’re asking for yourself if you say it in the appropriate context. You can start the subject by telling him about a coworker who is utterly opposed to marriage and relationships. If you act as if you’re merely asking for another person’s opinion, he won’t realize you’re attempting to figure out where your relationship is heading in a subtle way.
Ask Views Regarding Age of Marriage
This question will tell you whether you should anticipate your partner to propose in five or fifteen years. It’s also a deceptive manner of deducing what he’s thinking.
If your boyfriend is 25 and believes that 30 is a nice age to marry, he may propose to you during the following few years. There’s a significant likelihood you’re in a dead-end relationship if he’s 25 and thinks 50 is the finest age or says never.
This question should ring the bells that this will not be easy with the same person. The best way is to steer clear of this person and find someone else who will have a commitment to the growth and future of the relationship.
Take It Easy
The danger of waiting a long time before asking is that you will imagine the talk to be a significant turning point in the relationship. When you do ask, the state of mind you’re in can create an unnecessarily uncomfortable atmosphere.
It’s completely normal to define your connection, and asking casually but directly will help you avoid any unpleasantness.